RW Wk1 - Jack Hallows vs Zqlkular

[Bag Mandela]

Ransom Writers Week 1 - Regular 6 Line Battle

6 lines each (doesn’t have to be set up-punch x3, you have creative freedom)

Bars due Tuesday 15th Oct
Public voting closes Wednesday 16th Oct

-Posting explanations / references below your bars is strongly recommended.
-State your accent in this first round then we’re good for the rest of the tourney.


2 impartial judges + public vote will decide the winner
MV’s vote = 1 vote
Bag's vote = 1 vote
Overall public vote = 1 vote
(Rebuttals, late drops & no shows are an instant loss)

@Jack Hallows @Zqlkular

[Jack Hallows]

present.

[Jack Hallows]

hmph.. could’ve sworn i checked in.

check.

[Zqlkular]

I’ll flood these flows like a thunderfuckin’ hurricane
Blow down the drones – my sunder-gusts be purely pain
Outside my eye – shit flies like origami cranes
Abandon coast – surge-tsunami overtows this game
Subside the tide – what’s left is woe and water-baned
Deride sublime – I decompose this rot defamed

Explicanda:

drones: double meaning – people who are mindlessly the same as well as the monotonous verse they produce.

overtows: play on “undertow”, which is a deadly current

eye: eye of a hurricane

origami cranes: can’t fly themselves and are weak debris in a hurricane

water-baned: compound adjective based on “bane” or ruin

[Jack Hallows]

bash u w/ a pool cue, watch this faggot fall over heaped
move some billiards over the corpse. i’m Draggin Balls over Z
i keep Trunks in my Frieza that make all future plans void
lined w/ Cell blockers that’ll absorb the signal from an Android
& speaking of absorption - Hallows vents confidence
that’s why ya Buu’s tryna absorb my essence by swallowin my chocolate
Howl.

—
bunch of Dragon Ball Z references. Trunks, Frieza, Cell, Androids & Buu are all characters in the manga/anime.
pool cue death / billiards = pool table.
Trunks is from the future. Frieza = freezer. Frieza’s plans got cancelled when Trunks killed him. spoiler alert lol.
Cell is an Android that needs to absorb other Androids to become whole. in my freezer, the trunks are lined with electromagnetic/cellular blockers that will block/absorb Android cell phone signals making it impossible to call for help.
Buu = Boo/girlfriend. Buu is a demon who turns opponents into chocolate & eats them, absorbing characteristic of the victim to make himself more powerful. my confident essence is why his boo wants to ingest my long brown candy.

gdamn explaining the verse took longer than writing it.

[Virbius]

Zq, your style is unique and I admire that. You’ve got some strong imagery and interesting themes. Very poetic. It doesn’t seem geared towards battling in the conventional sense though. I don’t mind that too much personally, happy to assess your verse on its own merits, but directing more lines at your opponent would probably serve you well in terms of winning votes. Respect.

Jack, I don’t know anything about DBZ so that reduced the impact for me, but you explained it well so that’s fine. Seemed a bit random doing a whole DBZ themed round. Some of the lines were pretty good though. I thought it was going to end with something which tied the theme in to your opponent more cohesively than the ‘dragging balls over Z’. I feel like you came a little lighter than you could’ve done if required, but that’s fine. IMO you did enough to win this match up.

Vote- Jack

[Slayerr.]

Z - I feel like your concepts were there but not real impact or sting in the punches, think it’s a wording issue try to make your flips more creative with a harder landing punch. Your flow was decent but from a text battling perspective there’s a lot you need to tighten up but the potential is there

Jack - Christ a lot of niche references here without the explanations I’d think you were chatting shit haha. Your cell blocker line was my favourite I think you may have tried to be too clever with it though. Having to read the explanations takes the impact out of the punches for me and I’m sure other voters so might be something to bear in mind for the later rounds. Overall you came a lot more polished than z so get the W

V/jack