A Disciple's Thread

[NoNun2]

Let’s just get this straight… I am mentally ill… you are fucking with my head, my phone, my credit cards… I’m being stalked by cars I don’t even know and you are playing against my mental illness like I am some joke or game. You’re power doesn’t Impress me - you’re money make me sick - and when you finally show your wack ass face - I’m going to ask the police if I can mill you in front of them

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Kill*

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I’ll go to jail for it EASY!

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I am losing my mind medically and you are purposely making that faster then it has to be

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I don’t know why they let you torture me legally but im going to find out

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I promise you the day will come that you never breathe again too

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Let me guess… you don’t believe in heaven or hell or life after death either right?

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YOURE MY BITCH

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You’re MY fucking bitch and I’m a let you be everyone’s bitch too

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I’m polite… you stepped to the wrong bitch though

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There’s a reason why they hate me… only a weak man can’t stand to see a strong bitch

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Fairy

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As a rape victim would I let them… yeah… I would

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����

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Fuck what you heard… I’m only a nice person to people who are nice to me

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And when I ever wasn’t it was because I didn’t have a clue who they were or what they were doing

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I know now…

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Pac it would finally break my heart for good if it’s you or you have anything to do with this too

[NoNun2]

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Nah I’m not lining up your defense… you knew they did that to me on Whitlock?

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Nope lol

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Sec parties are irrelevant especially if they all willingly participated and were legal adults… thats for the suv and thanks

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My ex put the down payment on it… I made they payments and my other ex made the payments when I lost my job and had to reestablish in nc then he gave the truck back to me

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I lost my conviction and will and don’t know how to get it back

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Seriously guys check my ig… does that man look familiar - he pretended to be a cop and shot me up in the ambulance

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Whoscaredcla919

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The time I was beat bloody

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That I have all the paperwork on too

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Just in case you didn’t think pac as an angel isn’t still alive

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We would’ve had 3 more kids but we lost Hollins

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We all the links in the chain of mankind - and you freaks are really scaring me

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Since I was concealed in my room after my shirt and jeans were soaked in red - it just might be related idk

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Cause all eyes were at the funeral

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If they’re bothering you just reach them how to do something or something you good at and they’ll go away until the next year - it means your ass is tagged and you better behave

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Teach them*

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If you talk to them you even get friends

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I would’ve told him not run in the casino when they came in on him - they were just checking who was guilty and if you run your done they come in worse

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I buck back and we all laugh

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Hell isn’t always so bad

[NoNun2]

Where did my silent lucidy go? Why you all do that?!?) take posts down and stuff

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Lucidity*

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Was that the suicide note Ray and Linda was talking about?

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Was that your threat bitch? Whose threat?

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I know that’s his fam… like what 10 years later?

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I caught your cousin doing dope homie

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Embarrassed, humiliated, the psychotic breaks were real… and why nobody just told me?

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Defiled is more like it

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I’m letting getting shot go but won’t again… Im more concerned about some low life scum bitches getting my free will and want to and need to know they will never sleep walk or hypnotize me again

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They stole it but idk how or why

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Didn’t think things like that were even possible

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Nah you wake up driving with shit coming out your vv and ass and tell me how YOU feel?

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Sentenced not served for you… you go thru what ever you got coming to you cause I didn’t deserve it

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What go around come around right?

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I called yp the bitch that was pretending to be my best friend to ask her why I thought ti only got 5 years and she laughed said she was with her family and hung up type bitch

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I didn’t even know we were fighting - last I knew I called her to wire me $20

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Obviously she didn’t need me no more

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I learn slow especially when they all pretend to be your best friends

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If you don’t act like that you don’t think like that

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He showed me the pic like here bitch I got this one too

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Then to be reduced to some 100 clicks to take a picture when you’re being tortured like the shit so petty compared

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Dumb shit like red paint outside my door or feathers around my bed or my college degree missing when I’m being legally raped and tortured and the police and drs won’t even check?

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Got to jail hoe or criminal mental where socios and serial rapists belong

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Then you bitches try to blame 50?!??! You done did really lost your minds huh?

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They put flex name on the blue tooth they were using too

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My apt was wired by their audio but my dad looked and couldn’t find it either - it’s just hypno guys don’t worry they can’t do it to you too

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And some above the law twisted bitches

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And then they say cause I opened my own doors for them it’s ok or wanted… nah we will show you how

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I hope they get the needle to be honest but doubt that they will

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Torture is twisted and sick especially laughing about it too

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Cause I called the da and it was gang force tactic

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Backing the FUCK on out at least trying to and made a hiding spot for the kids - my team kill snitches

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Why I’m letting the shooting go

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Glitched the fuck out… I am legit mentally ill and been in treatment since I was in 5th grade

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My parents fought a lot

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Nah I do prefer to just sit here talking to myself in my own world now

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They want to change that too

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I realize something was going on that everyone knew but me now

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And that they still won’t stop fucking with my head or phone

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I know my father drank himself to death before telling me too

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I know I didn’t leave my drink and that the other friend that pretended to be my best friend freaked out over whose coffee was whose before she pretended to have a head ache while I went down to the bar to find out what’s there to do there

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My phone was fucking with me and randomly lets me cash app or not and then put my exes name on the screen

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That’s why I flipped out tonight too

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Pay me then leave me the fuck alone

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I didn’t remember a mother fucking thing at the time but do remember getting nervous and getting up and the guy next to me grabbing my arm while the other came in from the dining room and grabbed my other one right there in the hotel bar

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But I could’ve sworn there was 3 of them outside by the pool and only 2 in the stairwell again

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I have no clue where my $330 went and just shook it all off as another manic episode

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My sister put it together but my friend said that it was impossible that I was drugged and raped

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And robbed

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The bitch wouldn’t even take me home - my father and ex came to get me

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I could’ve sworn my exes car was at the halt way point but when my dad got there I finally passed out

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Just thought it was another psychosis

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Is that why they think I’m not mentally ill?

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It’s not my religion and I refuse to let them force me to feel like them or roll with them like that now too

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Ain’t nobody but me ever stood up for me when I fucked yp… stand by your fucking self too

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Nah weird shit only happened around them while they’d make a joke of my mental illness and had me committed for fun by either calling my parents or the police

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Don’t miss a mother fucking beat

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Just time

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Money

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Pride

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Someone in the woods is talking right now… are they trying to shoot me again?

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It’s probably just a speaker

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And they do this in front of EVERYBODU and NOBODY helps me

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Including the Raleigh courtroom

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Even if I wasn’t already mentally ill which I was I would be now and they did that on purpose too

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I have fucking brain atrophy now form all the breaks but nah that’s the drugs I was hardly even ever on to begin with

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I love sniffing coke… it helps me to think and be happy but now they forced me to quit that too

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You have all that money to fuck with me but keep me broke that I was 20 cents short and couldn’t get a nip like every fucking day… I have no fucking money and they won’t let me function and work

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Why can’t I have money too?

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My GMA must’ve died hating me she didn’t leave me a dime

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I know now she know the truth

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I can never live alone again - do you know what that feels like?

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I can’t even remember the conversation I’m having when still in the conversation - I have to stop and ask what we were talking about

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I miss coke A LOT

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I had to quit cause my bf told my mom

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I’m back in program for eitght fucking weeks

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It’s only good cause I’m helping my mom more around the house - prior I o was some lazy bitch who thanks god when I’m able to clean my own room

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I’m reminded daily how much my mother pays for me too

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I had a life… a good life… why do they refuse to stop coming for me?

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They won’t let me get a new life

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One day someone will hear me, pay me, and let me salvage the rest of my life

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It better be while my mind is still here now too

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I have so much rage that it scares me when it even peeps out

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Because I had chlamydia but never had unprotected sex - it’s never over

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Everytime I think I’m fucking safe again here they go

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It’s been good for some months now

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That’s why I hate fat boy

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Once again someone pretending to be my best friend

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I go to the Dr every 3-6 months just to make sure I’m healthy and safe and not hit from the prior

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You don’t know war until it comes to swap spit and I deserve to know who did that to me

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I have school tomorrow but know I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight either

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Do you understand what it feels like in here? In my own body?

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Cause they started the twisted shit again

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He showed me a pic with my pants down like here bitch I got that pic too… ain’t no way in hell would I ever pull off my pants in front of that man

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But shot in underwear ok but then they say it’s my own fault when I’m slow just trying to figure out wtf is going on and how to stop it

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Why do I have to go sober though?

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Can’t even have a fucking nip without my bf talking shit

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I don’t want to live like that

[NoNun2]

That’s the man that pretended to be police but didn’t have a cop car and came in the ambulance and shot me up with someone when I died at Rex…. Somebody beat me up in my own home

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Something* I started seeing neon

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I was texting my Nelson and took a pic while typing is my home safe again

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Dead man talking either way… its not the bath tub in my own home so fuck it I can’t be scared anymore

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My sister and my brother got the book smart… I got the street smart

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My boyfriend hates that I fight like a man when I’m mad (not physically but verbally but if he get physical I can fight too but he would never hit me)

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I stopped fighting back and don’t know why

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Been beating up boys since 6 west ��

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I did get in a fight when I was pregnant

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Part of the reason why I know I was pregnant is they just escorted me to my room for lock down… instead of dragging and drugging me and tying me down like they did when DM got in a fight the next day… probably related that was my boy

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I was in the corner at the window away from everybody crying and he came up to me and said I just wanted attention - I effed him UP LMAO

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Nah I don’t like people to see me cry

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My brother taugyt me how to fight I practiced on my sister lol

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She used to kick my ass until one day

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I used to watch a lot of kung fu movies too

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It’s why thy tied me but the bitch who did fight as good or even better than me so I don’t understand why

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She kept it on the low until she whoooed Ns ass in food bag and me and c fell out laughing

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She did used to show off in front of Corey a lot

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Maybe she had crush on him… that was like a little brother to me too

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And I LOVE his gf Sarah… she’s someone I want my daughter to be like

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Probably wife now

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As guilty as we looked we never even had a kiss and she trusted that and both of us which is why I respect her and want my daughter to have a love and esteem that strong too

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I miss Corey ��

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Now I know why I told him about Ced when he was in jail

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For my baby… I’ll take that hit any day

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I know now we had that riot too LMFAO

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I know in my heart the judge knew what we did and how we got thru it too… I love her for that

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You don’t always have to go to jail to learn a lesson and never do it again

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My dad was the king of that

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For me… my brother not so much lol

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I only say my sister get it once… she od’d and her friends left her in the driveway and my dad almost ran over her going to work… he dragged her thru the house up 2 flights of stairs by her hair and I think he took her bedroom door off too

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She was sober before she got pregnant with my nephew while in aa his sperm donor was too and she never relapsed

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I’m having a hard time quitting… I went 10 days and then the day before hit - I don’t understand it either - I never had this problem before

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I just do yay nothing hard

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It’s not a problem in my life only financially and with
Y bf and I’m mad - I never hid it from him and he knew who I was when he got with me but now it’s a problem for him and I resent it… the worst I ever did to get it was pawn something

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To be honest… my memory was HORRIBLE off it

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I had zero short term

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And gained 10lbs which I refuse… I’m a need to go cvs for some appetite suppressants or something

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It helps me to tell my story and organize my thoughts… I can sit still for long periods of time and less socially awkward

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But I only did a 40 at most 2 a day

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I got so mad when the dr said they have meds that helps with that… I’m just like what’s the difference then?

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My brain going regardless… I’m just like can I enjoy the rest of it while it’s still here? WHO care - why anyone even care though

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They wouldn’t have known unless my bf told them

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Yes NoW it’s a problem cause I can’t stop or keep my word about stopping

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Probably cause I don’t want to

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Ow stop

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I promise to try again…

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My mom just gave me a look lmao

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I do wonder if I Sabatoge myself on purpose by accident though

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I was fine besides eating ��

[NoNun2]

I don’t know how to function in normal society anymore… and I I’m not seeking the attention I’m seeking to support myself again. Stalker was outside my school and fuck it I’m just gonna shut up

[NoNun2]

I’m split, this side of my body this way the side that way - felt the tug of war repeated and when I was sober they got away with me losing an entire day so they can get a license pic in my sports bra I never even noticed

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Prolong this shit for what? I remember the tug of war when I first started doing coke and how serious it is to somebody - FOH I love it and never want to stop

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I don’t like you or how you think you can tie and hold my body

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It doesn’t have to be this serious until you make it

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Ghosts everywhere tonight

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Left school cause there was a parked car 100 fr when I checked my bfs location

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The stalker still stalking me… how would you feel?

[NoNun2]

It’s like I grasp you all there and could be watching but shy everyone say no when I ask still?

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I’m not and never will be 100% sober

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Why*

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I don’t like that side

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My hell mate played the fuck out of me tonight… I’ll never put pac on the back burner again - most times I just have to see and realize myself

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Slow learner and slower to competend

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Slow learner and slower to competend

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I wonder how the thing I just typed talking about I understated that I can grasp somsfhijg going on but no one tell me when I ask

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I don’t want to be part of that family, they’re abusive - make me look ugly - try to bitch me - and try to force me to be 100 sober - who the fuck wanna live like that?

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They keep deleting the part where I say u grasp people may be watching but why they don’t tell me what’s going on or Deny when I ask

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Why nobody will tell me what’s going on?

[NoNun2]

My mom was glitching when I was in the middle of a conversation with tgf telling him my wifi cut out

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I think it’s the last time I ever spoke to him

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We were in jc penny and she couldn’t decide what shirt she wanted

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It’s where I get my candy girl from

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She was a model like 2 or 3 times

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Credit one had to call me like 159 times before I remembered I had credit protection

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No fictitious number for point* are they even serious though

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NOBODY likes me anymore and I don’t know why

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No they cut off the wifi when I was telling him

[NoNun2]

Dreams and Nightmares



I’m in so much pain and confused
How it go from perfect to just being used
I never felt long before or at least didn’t remember
But you never dealt the score until late December
Players club? Didn’t know I was a member
And they didn’t know that I stand to…
But they knew they hid me where the men were
Acting like it was me when they knew it was you
Coming out of Harlem with a perfect score
I ain’t seen paper in a minute but that’s not what I did it for
2/4… that’s why we here
Did it since 95 almost every year
But now I’m lost…
Cause one day all the sudden I began to fear
And the voices came of laughing and cheer
But we was supposed to be we’re… nah I never seen that though
Just betrayal
But Yo - you can step any fucking day hoe
Instincts of a spider done crept up inside her
Didn’t understand why I was filled with so much fire
But we couldn’t prove that bitch was just a liar
I broke when he didn’t chose me, he chose Desire
I should’ve left when he changed on me
I thought everything would be perfect when he got free
Jealous bitches were still hating but nobody would intervene
Didn’t know I was married to the game but knew I could never talk about all I seen
What would you do?
If almost every person you ever loved betrayed and traded you
Never knowing that loyalty back
Pretending to love me as a form of attack
And now… 24 years my senior
They throw the play and try to feen her
My demeanor?
You expect the worst so anything that’s better keep you happy
Every nightmare was served including them killing pappy
That’s just what that be
On my conscience like it was always my fault
Throwing up cause I finally realized why I threw up all that salt
I get it now and like wow… ok
They just caught… and it’s why they hang on every word that I say
Asking for paper now when I pray but that’s not ever changed
Love just not for me
I don’t want arranged either
I don’t know why but that’s just how it be
If it’s him or him - I’m just like neither

[NoNun2]

I had a good youth mostly 🖤

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Left to try to figure it all out myself

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All alone again but it’s ok I rather be alone then stuck disrespected

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He started acting JUST like him except not violent and then felt just like him and I hated and prayed for it to end again

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It’s like we both changed into completely different persons

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He used to be my kiss of death and now I can’t even feel him anymore

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And I realized like yeah sometimes it goes there to there and dies again but like he probably did shat he did and he broke it and no matter what I can’t feel him or that peace and comfort anymore

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Unless it’s pac himself I can never trust again

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EVER - I was already on my last string and changed my mind when he came home and was face to face

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I don’t even wanna have sex anymore type ish… but that may be the new meds

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I’m staying solo until I find myself and keep myself and be able to protect myself and make my own money

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I’m not hating I still wish him the best and trying to get us some money

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I’m going to bed…

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Broke my heart*

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Yes I’m finally aware we on opposite sides now and he with the people that were hurting me and I need him to come over to our side again

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We don’t even got to speak but don’t let them tell you that you like them cause you’re not - don’t let them do it to you again

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On the pieces that relate to him and he he don’t got to sue id give him some

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We all here but I’m getting hit when I stay positive… they just wanna drag me down and try to make me look and feel ugly

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They’re trying to bitch him on the humble like they did me and I can’t effing stand them… I want my entire family to leave and

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I wish we can go back until before they stole me and whipped me in leather.. and fall everytime since

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I know she did and at 18-24 yo you made a mistake and we would’ve dropped it but we almost 50 now… I know the bitches were selling me and I need for this to be resolved as I just typed die to myself type shit - it’s not my religion or culture and I don’t like and they won’t leave i

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She was pretending ro be me right? Or what the fuck was she doing sleep with every man I been witih or setting up her friends to

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I didn’t have a clue until god Gave me back the second of her having sex in the bathroom at work I was like wait she would’ve told me that why she didn’t? Then they said she a hoe and I djdnt know that either… we really wasn’t even that close only in spurts but

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We were I thought she was my best friend but we didn’t always speak and fought a lot

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I thought her giving me the pills was an accident and she was trying to help calm me down

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Yeah they been trying every night for like 3 days and even now

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Half a hit that hardly make me stumble now

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You get stronger the more they try

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Because I don’t care either way that’s why I don’t get scared of them anymore - there is life after death for facts and pac and big both proved that

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Yes she said he slept on the couch with the right on time set up and me and Ced and our family broke

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Nah I don’t forgive him either cause I was all like “sleep around but give me a lot” like I thought no way in hell would he sleep with any of my friends at least - couldn’t be more wrong

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I know she played and lied to him too

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If was my old friends but Ced didn’t want me to know either like my family too… I can’t believe God was the one that had to tell me I

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Why? wtf was gong on and what was the big deal?

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�� were you crying cause you were caught selling me or sleeping with ced

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It all went down immediately after and I don’t recall her telling me I thought she was gonna tell me she gay or something? Bitch is weird as hell and yes Ced sue me after what you owe me too

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Idgaf I deserve to know what’s going on too

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Ghost’s every where again ��

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What I was your family blow up doll? Nah people you report ish like that

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I don’t even want to know I’ll spend months throwing up again

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Everybody telling me they got daughters and I’m just like Annnd… me too! What’s going on guys?

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These sprites are going to leave me and my moms alone once and for all

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I refuse it’s what makes me sick and I don’t like them and fine we enemies so why enemiee allowed to run and force my body?

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Get out stay out and never come back

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I got sick when Norwalk came around lying

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Saw me on the highway yeah right

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How the fuck he even got my number

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It may have been the same I don’t remember - he came around right before I was shot too

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I bumped into him at the store - that may have been legit

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Ok it’s hard to maintain and grasp the fact that people are seeing this cause nobody say shit or do shit about it

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We were all here and fine and ready then eveyone started switching up again

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Check the deak at massage envy he was on my but 45 minutes type she

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Freak*

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The more I stay away the more I realize and hate him too… he’s doing so good just praying he still do cause I’m gone

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Why was how that happen deleted?

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My aunt too

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Because it’s gone too far and I’m not your bitch

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They’re trying to break my trust in pac too

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Norwalk makes me sick and it’s the same people

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They refuse to go away and I don’t understand why anyone won’t make them

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It feels gross when they’re in my body and they’re disrespectful setting me up and typing due to myeekf and stuff - I don’t want to live like them

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Die*

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It’s not my god or religion

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Why it just get worse and worse - what did we do? Why do you let them?

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She thinks she’s more important then my daughter and won’t go away

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If she over 30 idgaf

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I have my own families to gdf back to but they steady blocking

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Why did I stay and not stick up for myself again??

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He pretend well too

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It’s sad

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Nah I’m ice cold again anyway

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Not even worth it type switch up

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Why does that happen I feel think it’s right and it go away that’s happened 3x now - is to cause pac jumping?

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Is it* they make me become like 20 different people and I’m already mentally ill and can’t handle not being myself

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They use me as their trash can and they not better than me either

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Test her and you’ll get mad too - it wasn’t ever me

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Now it is

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Prior… right on time set ups

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Sleeping with the enemy nah the enemy refuse to get out of my own body

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Going to sleep getting late

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Cause I let him and couldn’t leave and stick up for myself… I lost myself again

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He came back and I was good climbing again and then I fall down and look ugly again it’s like he did it on purpose

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Well I card no matter what the time and I pray I can stick to that

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Cant*

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Bitch my life isn’t about your story get over yourself and leave me alone

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No later what this rime*

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Why do I have to feel like their family under my own body though - how does that happen?

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In… I need an exorcism - going to bed

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In my own body*

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I don’t care and that’s not true - I don’t like being submissive TAHTS when I’m sick

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We lot right for each other anyway

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Not*

[NoNun2]

You should’ve seen that stitch though and how it got stuck and how you got back up… I was sewing for my gma though - but if you had a heart you’d buy a piece and give me some money

[NoNun2]

[NoNun2]

Sad as fuck tonight

[NoNun2]

Had a rough sad weekend but the week is starting positive 🖤

[NoNun2]